The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World by Dalai Lama XIV, Desmond Tutu, Douglas Carlton Abrams

The perspectives two holy men of two different religions from two different regions of the world are humanly the same. The friendship of the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu is the definition of boundless joy. 

This book takes place in the span of one week, where the Archbishop of South Africa pays a visit to Dharamsala, India to visit his long-time friend the Dalai Lama. The long overdue visit is one of the last in which the two would see each other as their age and health create a growing list of adversities to overcome but none like the lives they've already lived. Through exile and apartheid the two friends have suffered harsh realities but have found everlasting joy through their experiences and lifelong deeds. In this book, they share how to be happy and how to find joy. 

The basis is love and compassion. So easily said, yet so difficult to live. The Dalai Lama and the Archbishop offer their insights in how to achieve the ultimate goal. 

I enjoyed reading about the perspectives given and how similar their lives were to each other. We are human after all. So why should it be a surprise at how closely their lives resembled each other's? I think the answer is that in our society, we often highlight our differences. But if we just keep in mind that we're all human, that makes us 100% similar. From there, it should be easier to be compassionate about one another and share the difficulties and challenges, as well as the the success and happiness. When you can do that, you will find joy. 

Check it out on GoodReads. 

Buy it on Amazon.

 

Short Life Advice

I recently started to read a book called Tribe of Mentors: Short Life Advice from the Best in the World by Tim Ferriss. It's exactly what it is says it is - short life advice. It's short because each person included in this eclectic collection answers just 11 questions about life. Tim Ferriss' set of questions were carefully chosen and ordered to foster the best responses from some of the most successful people on the planet. 

I sent these same questions to my closest friends, family, and colleagues because they are no different in my eyes. So I'm using the same set of questions and order. 

I thought it would be even more interesting to read the responses from the people who are closer to me than the company that Ferriss keeps. 

Call it somewhat of a social experiment, but my objective is to continue to learn about this tribe, my tribe, in ways that I don't already know and add their answers to my collection of books because their collection of knowledge and experience is no less important than the authors on my shelves. 

While waiting for their responses, I've already gotten calls to share my own answers. So here they are: 

What is the book (or books) you’ve given most as a gift, and why? Or what are one to three books that have greatly influenced your life? 

The Alchemist by Paul Coehlo 

The Richest Man In Babylon by George S. Clason

These 2 books are really easy to read, but the messages are deep and complex. One speaks to finding the treasure within yourself after overcoming obstacles in life and along the journey. The other conveys the wisdom of logic, time, interest, and putting yourself first. Together, these books are a great 1-2 punch out of the gates of college and entering adulthood.

What purchase of $100 or less has most positively impacted your life in the last 6 months (or in recent memory)? Be specific.

Blood Pressure Monitor ($44.99 on Amazon) - It’s gotten me to pay specific attention to my, well, blood pressure and pulse. It took a change in medication that caused my heart to beat out of my chest and cause discomfort for me to make this purchase, but it was much needed even before that. Although my diet has been pretty consistent and healthy, the blood pressure monitor has served as my checkmate. I’ve become very conscious of the decisions that I make because this device sits in front of me on my desk in my office. It’s a daily reminder not to abuse my body. 

How has failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success? Do you have a “favorite failure” of yours? 

I’ve failed so many times in my life, it’s impossible to count. But none more life changing than the series of what, at the time, were the most depressing chain of events I could ever imagine. After choosing to leave a comfortable job, after being employed for 14 years, my wife and I decided to take 6 months off to travel around the world. When I came home I had great hope and positivity about quickly re-joining the workforce. While we were planning the trip, throughout the trip, and even when we first came home, I had little doubt I’d be able to find a job and get right back to it - continuing my professional career. I was never so wrong in my life. 

In a span of 17 months, I applied to 181 different jobs. 112 did not respond. I was informed that I was not selected for 61 of them. I interviewed for 4 but was never contacted ever again. One of my applications was withdrawn. I was given 3 offers, 2 of which I had to decline after weighing all the options. The more time that passed without a positive response, the deeper the depression I would get into and the more I questioned my previous actions. Every response, or lack thereof, was a failure to me. 

A change of scenery and an employer’s need to fill a role quickly finally gave me the break I needed. But because I was filling someone else’s need before my own, this job was ultimately a failure too. I couldn’t stay there. It wasn’t worth the time I was losing, the sacrifices I was making, or the stress I was enduring. 

The brightest side of that failure was that it enabled me and gave me the determination to finish my studies for the CPA exam. And in the last quarter of 2019, I passed my final part and earned my certification. 

My success today is based on the fact that I never really gave up, despite how awful it felt along the journey. It’s the most common failure/success story (the CPA part), but it’s mine. I lived it. I toughed it out. I am still learning from it because I still look back on it when I need motivation. 

If you could have a gigantic billboard anywhere with anything on it - metaphorically speaking, getting a message out to millions or billions - what would it say and why? It could be a few words or paragraph. (If helpful, it can be someone else’s quote: Are there any quote you think of often or live your life by?)

"The biggest room in the world...is the room for improvement."

Education is the most valuable intangible in the universe. Big data, oil / energy, investments, and cash don’t even have the fraction of value or importance that Education has. It’s so important that I’m going to capitalize the “E” in Education from now on - because it’s that proper and necessary. 

Everyone has room to grow, learn, and improve. My wife always says that it’s not that you don’t have the time, it’s that you haven’t prioritized what you want to do. 

And as I would say, “Failing to learn, is learning to fail.” Has anyone ever said that before? I don’t know. But I always have. 

What is one of the best or most worthwhile investment you’ve ever made? (Could be an investment of money, time, energy, etc.)

There’s not one. There are collections. And those collections grow all the time. My favorite, though, are the ones called “Life Experiences.” In this collection are eating and traveling memories. My wife and I used to say that we travel to eat, and when we eat, we travel to the origin of that food in our minds and the memories from the places we’ve been. 

Eating daal reminds me of 14 days trekking through the Himalayas to Mt. Everest Base Camp. When I eat sushi, I can’t help but imagine sitting in front of Jiro. A taco puts my mind on a stool at a street stand called Taqueria Honorio in Tulum. A hot dog throws me back to a bite at Portillo’s in Chicago. Or halal food places me on a street corner in Manhattan at 2AM waiting on line for the Halal Guys to serve up a platter with white sauce. 

Every life experience I’ve had has been an addition to my collections and they’ve all been worthwhile. Even the bad ones, because of #4 above. 

What is an unusual habit or an absurd thing that you love? 

I love a play on words. That’s probably why I enjoy rap/hip-hop music so much. The wit, humor, and quickness of the lyricism is fascinating to me. I feel intelligent when I can digest what artists are saying. It’s a combination of history, poetry, logic, and grace in a rhythmic manner making music catchy, smart, and colloquial. Rap/hip-hop have a bad rep for negativity. But if you really break down what some of the songs are about, it’s genius. You have to know about a variety of things both in popular culture and history to really get it. Maybe that means I have just enough knowledge to be cool. 

In the last 5 years, what new belief, behavior, or habit has most improved your life? 

Reading / studying early in the morning. It started out just to improve my retention when I was studying for my CPA exam, but I’ve found that reading in the morning has really allowed me to enjoy the content of my books, whether fiction or nonfiction. I purposely make time for reading in the morning. 

Also, I’ve gotten into coffee in the last 2 years. And taking it in the morning with a book I’m reading is almost always the perfect start. 

I actually think that the combination of the two has produced far better results than I initially hoped for and created a better lifestyle, one that I can really enjoy. 

In the near future, I’m going to try to incorporate writing into my routine. Maybe that will be once a week. 

What advice would you give to a smart, driven college student about to enter the “real world”? What advice should they ignore? 

Two things. Find a fitting mentor. Find balance. A mentor can help you find your balance in the long run, but of course, not directly. When you figure out what you want to do or have a direction you want to point, someone can help you navigate how to get there. You will have to do a lot on your own but rely on your resources to speed up the process some. 

I tell the people whom I work with or whom I mentor that I may not have all the answers, but I am sure as hell that we can find someone who can help us get to the ones we need in the order that we need them. 

When you combine the guidance with your own hard work, you will eventually find the balance you need in work, life, and pleasure.

What are bad recommendations you hear in your profession or area of expertise? 

“Fake it until you make it.” FUCK THAT. I hate that so much. The only person you’re hurting is yourself. Yea, sure, you can fake knowing how to do something or why something is done, but eventually you will end up at a dead end. Someone is going to come to a realization that you’re a fool. And your reputation is going to be tarnished for the foreseeable future. 

I’d much rather be upfront and tell someone that I don’t understand or can’t figure something out than fake it. 

I think what I hate so much about it is that people get away with it. And then when you go to rely on those people, they end up being unreliable. My trust in them is busted. That person is no longer a resource but a drag on my well-being. Go ahead. Try that shit on me and see how quickly I drop you like dead weight. 

Ain’t nobody got time for that. 

In the last 5 years, what have you become better at saying no to (distractions, invitations, etc.)? What new realizations and/or approaches helped? Any other tips? 

Sugar. For years, doctors and the media have hyped the detriments of salt. High blood pressure, heart attack, stroke, dementia, kidney failure, brain damage can all result from too much salt. I get it. It’s a well known fact and to some extent, we’ve gotten that under control. 

But sugar… no one talks about how bad it is for you. It’s an empty calorie. Sugar causes weight gain. It can cause tooth cavities. Sugar increases your risk of fatty liver, diabetes, and eventually heart disease. It’s just as bad as salt. 

I’ve curtailed my sugar intake so much. It’s changed the way I can maintain my weight. I eat more fruits and vegetables, rather than processed / packaged snacks (which is another thing I’ve said no to). My life is much improved. I feel better. I have more energy. And I don’t pack on the pounds or have a hard time getting rid of them. 

With regards to processed food, I’ve learned that if I want to have processed food, the organic stuff has worked better for me. I’ve found that processed products that are more water soluble are easier to digest. The best visual example I can give is… take a regular jar of Smuckers jelly or jam once you’ve pretty much emptied it. There are, of course, some remaining bits stuck to the side or bottom of the jar. Fill that jar with water, shake it up, and pour it out. More often than not, there’s still jam/jelly stuck to the jar. That’s your insides with processed food. 

Now try that same experiment with organic jelly or jam, and you’ll find a completely different result. You will see that the residue slides right out with a quick shake of water. 

Say no (more often) to sugar and processed food. Your insides will thank me. 

When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, or have lost your focus temporarily, what do you do? (If helpful: What questions do you ask yourself?)

I step away from my desk, stretch, drink water, and go for a walk. If that doesn’t clear me up, then I go to sleep. Sleep can help re-energize the body's cells, and most importantly in this situation, clear waste from the brain. That feeling of being overwhelmed or unfocused... that’s the waste. 

35 Is In The Books

Yesterday, I was surprised by my beautiful wife in collaboration with my ever-engaging, well-read family and friends. Together, they all conspired to amass 35 or more books for my 35th birthday. I have to say, it was an elaborate scheme, and I am the lucky beneficiary. In total, I received 49 books.

Apparently, this started back in January after a conversation that her and I had in passing. We were on the topic of gift giving, and I had said something to the effect of... "the only gift I want for my birthday from you is a book from my Amazon Wishlist."

Well, she got me a book alright. And a whole host of friends and family joined the campaign.

To organize the efforts, a set of instructions were posted to a Google Docs Sheet:

Everyone chose a book or two or three or 10 and listed them on the shared document to avoid any duplication. Smart. Over the course of 2 months, Lucy and Jake (Carolyn's accomplices lol) accumulated packages on my behalf in their apartment.

Then this past Sunday afternoon, Lucy, Jake, and Carolyn somehow coordinated during a window of 12 minutes, while I was out of the house walking the dog, to unload a trunk filled with boxes full of books from all corners of the country traveling by USPS, Amazon, FedEx, or UPS into our garage and managed to escape without being seen. The rest is history. And a world of thanks goes out to them for helping execute the plan. Without you guys, I would have known about the secret back in January. LOL.

Thank you 🙏🏽 😊 ☺️ to all who thought of me today!!! One of the #greatest set of #birthday #gifts ever received... 📚 📖 #educate #education #read #reading #readingisfundamental #readingisfunandmental #nonfiction #fiction #knowledgeispower Where do I begin?!?! #bookclub #bookshelf #collection

A post shared by jessereynesgo (@jessereynesgo) on Mar 12, 2018 at 9:46am PDT

There are two awesome components to each gift I received.

First is the idea that the gift giver has to read the book so that we can talk about it at some point in time. I like this because it offers me an opportunity to communicate more often than I normally have in the past. We'll have something to chat about (not that we don't already), and hopefully become more regular about it.

Secondly, the inscriptions that people left me on the inside covers have turned a relatively inexpensive commodity into a priceless possession that I will keep until death do we part. Some notes offer advice, insight, and reminders. Some jog the memory of time when. Some are like journal entries. But all of them touch the heart. Truth be told, I held back some tears. 

All in all, this is one of the most thoughtful gifts with use and purpose. I hope to continue to improve my reading habits and vocabulary. I look forward to reading each of these texts to learn more about the diverse topics they cover. I look forward to chatting with everyone about the books they selected. And I am so happy to have a wife, family, and friends who support me and my literary adventure. 

Thank you all so much! 

35 is in the books!



By the way... if you're wondering where I'm starting, it's with: 

Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts

Pen Pals

Did you ever have a pen pal?

It's not so common these days. But back in the day, there was simple entertainment and fun in having a friend on the other side of the globe. It was usually someone your age (if done through a school exchange program) or someone you knew from a random trip and the both of you decided to keep in touch. It started with the exchange of addresses. And every once-in-a-while you'd send each other a letter in the mail. Yes, snail mail. You'd pay the postage for wherever far off land you new friend was, and you'd exchange stories about your lives.

My first pen pal was my aunt! She was still living in the Philippines at the time. This was in 1989. I was in first grade, and we had just gotten our first computer and dot-matrix printer. The operating system was MS-DOS, and there was a very crude word processing program available. I'd type up a short letter for her, most likely about nothing special, then print it out and mail it to her.

Some weeks or months later, I'd receive a hand-written letter back from her. It was always written on yellow legal pad paper in her excellent, teacher-like penmanship. She wrote in script, so mom or dad had to read it to me.

I will never forget the one story she relayed to me. A typhoon had recently passed through the area and severe flooding was occurring throughout. My aunt and family owned and lived on a farm with various animals. She described to me how terrible the weather was for the animals and what sacrifices she made to secure them. But at one point, despite her efforts, the pigs escaped! And they were swimming in the flood waters. My aunt had to swim after them to save them. What a story!

Back then, that was part of their livelihood. The enormous pigs were cash cows, figuratively and literally. The sale of a pig could generate a considerable sum of money, so saving the 100+ pound beasts from raging flood waters was imperative. I remember the written descriptions made me feel fear; then it made me smile and laugh. And the story taught me a lot about life in a different place.

I digress.

Since those days, it's been so much easier to keep in touch with people you've befriended. The internet has simplified it through email, text, chat apps, Facebook, Instagram, and the like; and to some extent has made it more safe. (Although you've all gotten that email from the Nigerian Prince or the Prince of Zamunda, right? Haha.)

I have new pen pals these days. People we've met along the way throughout our travels - we try to keep in touch with. We exchange emails every so often coordinating potential joint trips, checking in on the goings-on of their seemingly close locales with regards to politics / economics / stability / tourism / etc, and asking about their families or significant others or spouses. Pen-pal-ing is much easier to do in this day and age. Although, should we coin a new name for it? Hardly anyone puts pen to paper anymore for these purposes...

Did you have a pen pal? Do you still keep in touch with them? If not, aren't you curious who they've become and what they're up to now?

Risk More Than Others And Dream Like You Mean It

I've been looking back at the decisions I've made in the recent past. The overwhelming majority of them I've been completely happy with. Some I've just accepted as "ok," nothing great or anything awful has come of them. And only a few have I regretted. 

But hold on, I'm not going where you think I'm going with this intro. This isn't about me right now. It's about you for a minute. Yes, you my readers, my fans (I like to think I have some), my followers, my friends, and my fam. I hope you don't mind. 

I wondered what you have all thought of me and the steps I've taken for the past, call it, 2 years. I've imagined you thinking me crazy, determined, changed, risky, impractical, and sometimes unrealistic. I've heard something in your voice or seen a glimmer in your eyes. It's the sound of confusion regarding something you found questionable or something of a surprise. It's the look of fear that I may do something I would regret, something strange in your mind. In other cases, it's been positive, at least from what I can tell. But I'm not sure, and that's ok because I continued to do things my way anyway. 

I've laughed, been angry, upset, and sad, then anxious, sometimes happy or bashful or mad for things that I've done, both good and bad. But all that I've done and what I continue to do, is driven by the quote above as it should drive you. There's a cadence to my madness; I beat my own drum. I don't do things because I'm crazy. I do it for fun. With many goals in mind, with limited time, to succeed and be happy is impossible all of the time. But to risk more than other think safe, and dream more than others think practical, the results can sometimes be more than magical. We were taught to dream big, no risk no reward. It's time to stop quoting others and keep moving forward.

Look at that. It's funny. I broke into rhyme. I wish I had the ability to do that all of the time.

The next moves I make, the next steps that I take, might be bigger and better than any previous stake. For my future, my family, the people who make me happy, tomorrow's dream might soon become a reality. (396)

No History, No Culture, No Self - KNOW History, KNOW Culture, KNOW Self

I've become a friendlier person. That's one of the changes in my life that I'm happy about.

My Uber and Lyft rides have become more and more interesting with each ride I take. Last night, I was picked up at the airport by a man with an accent, a Lyft driver. It's one of the first things I recognize when I first meet my drivers. Naturally, out of curiosity, I had to ask where he was from. It's been my leading question often these days, and it's a great conversation starter.

His name is Guy, and he told me that he is from Haiti. Quick to draw on my memory banks,  I asked if he speaks French, which I recalled is a major language of Haitians. He does. And then I asked if he was from Port-au Prince, to which he responded that he was from a town on the outskirts with a French sounding name like most other cities, town, and villages in Haiti have. Guy immediately started to break out his historical facts of the Haiti, most of which I had no idea about.

He zoned in on the French colonization / occupation and then on to the revolutionary times. I sensed that he welcomed this conversation and looked for an outlet to let his freedom of speech go. As I complimented him on his spectacular knowledge of history and politics, he, funny enough, mentioned how happy he was to be able to speak to "someone like" me. I asked him who that might be, and he said someone who is curious and engaging in conversation. It made me happy to be the recipient of his knowledge. And it brought back to mind a quote I'd heard many years ago that drove my self-awareness:

"No history, no culture, no self. KNOW History, KNOW culture, KNOW self."

Guy has aspirations of making documentaries about Haiti and Haitians, the history, the politics, and the culture all with the point of enlightening others about the struggles and strife their people have endured over the years. His near-future goal is to save money for a decent camera with which to produce the videos he intends on posting to YouTube. I wished him well on his dreams and hoped to see something come of it in the future.

My conversation with him made me look back at my own history of shyness, of being closed-off, possibly even standoff-ish in my demeanor. But I really am not. Taking a step back and reminding myself of my culture, my education, my knowledge base allowed me to be confident in speaking with others. Opening up has given me comfort in being more friendly towards others and accepting of who they are, as I hope that they accept who I am. I know my self better than I did before. It's taken a few years (34) but at least there is improvement.

I hope to continue to chatting with my ride-share drivers. They've mostly been pleasant, engaging,  and forthcoming with their stories. I admire them for their service and their attitudes.

Do you strike up conversation with your Uber / Lyft drivers? If not, it's not too late to start. (533)

Are you the type of person to chat with your @Uber or @Lyft drivers?

— Jesse Go (@jessereynesgo) October 31, 2017

Weddings Are Beautiful & Family is Wonderful

Over the past 8 years, Carolyn and I traveled near and far to attend 29 weddings of our closest friends and family.  Last night made 30. And by the end of December, we'll have been to 31 weddings, not including our own. Wow! That's a lot of happy people.

Yesterday one of my younger cousins on my mother's side got married to her long-time boyfriend. Her sister's maid of honor speech couldn't be contained by tissues alone. Our family thoroughly enjoyed the festivities and danced the night away. And the groom's family was as fun, supportive, and respectful as any I've ever met. Of my grandparents' 21 grandchildren, my cousin is the 19th in chronological order. And most, not all, of the cousins older than her are married, many with children already. Safe to say, we've had plenty of fun all these years, and we're hoping to continue the parties with the new generation of kids and those yet to come.

The best part of family weddings is seeing all the relatives in the same place. Family members who have moved away from the area, who we don't get to see at our convenience, come back to join in for the festivities and it's always fun catching up with whomever is in attendance.

It's too bad there are still situations when some relatives aren't able to join. It's been a long time since the full family has been completely together. But it's just an example of the difficulties it is to coordinate. No one means any harm by not being able to attend. There are always competing priorities or conflicting schedules.

The next wedding to be attended is my brother's wedding in December. We will be traveling to this one in Dallas as he too has moved from the area a few years ago. And we're already scheduled to celebrate 3 more weddings in 2018. It's funny how it's this time in our life cycles, this age range is the time when so many people get married. I'm sure that the older we get, the less weddings we'll be invited to but until then, party on party people. (358)

Keep Calm And Save A Life

Have you ever saved anyone's life?

I don't know or understand what it is with life and death situations that makes your instincts so sensitive and your reactions so sharp. When you know something isn't right or there's potential for danger, your senses just perk up and you remain unbelievably alert until the uncomfortable feelings subside.

I like to say I know. And I like to claim that I've saved a few lives in my own lifetime. But there was nothing heroic in the things I did. It was more common sense and reaction. The real heroes are the medical professionals that revive or resuscitate the nearly departed.

Sometimes I wonder. Is it because I grew up in a medical family? Is it because I'm a preventative person by nature and anticipate accidents and try to avoid them like the plague? Could it be because I sometimes play out scenes in my mind and how to assist, resolve, or avoid the dangers? Most likely it's because of all of the above. Much of it has to do with preparation.

I have. At least I like to think that I have. More than once, if you're wondering.

In one scenario it was as simple as screaming "be careful" as loud as I could. It drew the attention of a speeding bicyclist down a hill in the dark of an SUV that was about to make a turn into the street he was flying down. It also helped that the SUV's windows were open which probably made my yelp audible enough for the driver to wait a split second and jam on the brakes. Otherwise, it wouldn't have been a pretty sight. Maybe it was luck that I was walking the dog on a very unusual route that night.

In another case, my cousin was saved from hypothermia. We were on vacation and went for a swim in the cold waters off the coast of Bar Harbor, Maine one late summer. While most of us were fine, she came out of the water and we noticed her lips were turning blue / purple. And almost as immediate as we noticed it, her body went limp and fell to the sand. Both of her parents are doctors. But I suppose when it comes to treating your own family the mind is sometimes paralyzed by the shock that something dangerous is happening to your most loved one. Long story short, my instinct was to pick her up, and rush her to an area where she could be tended to by medical staff. This required carrying her off the sandy beach, up an enormous flight of stairs, and near the park's ranger station. The EMT's did the rest from there. I was fairly young at the time, maybe a teenager? But it was quick thinking without panic that I think really helped the most.

Most recently (2 years ago), my dad lost consciousness while he was sick with flu-like symptoms. Luckily I was there to catch him because otherwise, he would have cracked his head open on the kitchen tile. In that situation, the most important thing to do was lay him down completely so that the blood and oxygen could return to his brain and other organs to prevent severe damage. The paramedics did the rest on their arrival, eventually taking him to the hospital to be monitored.

And a long time ago, also when I was younger, my grandfather suffered from low blood sugar if I recall correctly. He was laying in bed and I remember his face hardening and turning blue. The only thing I could do at the time was call 9-1-1. Indirectly, I saved him.

My brother also had some strange "attack" when he was bouncing on my uncle's knee as a really young kid. He was having so much fun until all of a sudden he just stopped breathing. My uncle panicked. I called my mom at work. She's a nurse. Her panic made her come home immediately, but the emergency personnel made it to our house before she did, so they took care of the issue. So maybe I didn't exactly save his life, but it was that instinct again that made me call for help.

There was one other situation with a work colleague, but that still perplexes me. Our team came together to help him in his distress, but I think he may still not realize it. Hopefully he does one day.

Have you saved a life?

The only advice I can give is to stay calm. Quickly analyze the situation and call for help immediately. If you are not a medical professional, stabilize the person (lay or sit him/her down) and keep them calm as well (if they are conscious) until help arrives.

I may not have directly saved anyone's life, but the simple actions are sometimes the biggest factors. The most dangerous thing is non-action. Don't be paralyzed by fear. (826)

I never got one of these. This is all I ask for the next time I save a life. 

Super Duper Supertasters

I recently learned that someone we are friends with is a Supertaster. Quite obviously from the title alone we know that Supertasters have a far more sensitive tastebuds than the average person and can taste things that others cannot. That's because they have twice the number of tastebuds as the next person. Strangely, though, the most commonly heightened flavors are on the bitter side.

In talking to our friend (let's call him Chris), he gave us the example of eating lettuce. To most people, lettuce doesn't have any real flavor. It adds mostly a texture and moisture component to food (besides salads). However, he seemed to describe some sort of bitterness or maybe an earthiness that wasn't so pleasing to his tastebuds.

Chris went on to say that most green vegetables are bitter and less palatable to Supertasters than anything else. Not all tastebuds are the same in finding the same foods less appetizing than others either.  And also, not all greens are bitter. If I recall correctly, he was ok eating spinach (was it cooked or raw? I can't recall). Even water has distinct flavors. I bet they can differentiate between all the branded bottles of water.

Other things that Supertasters will possibly pass on are alcohol, chocolate, coffee, sugary and fatty foods. Hence people with this super ability are typically more fit, like Chris. And on a bright note, despite not enjoying the same foods most people do and being a bit more picky in the foods they choose to consume, Supertasters have less chance of developing cardiovascular diseases.

I find it super interesting that there are people out there that have this ability. It makes me wonder if, despite not liking the flavors, they could positively identify certain flavors? That could make going out to dinner with these people even more fun. I asked Chris if this super power was more of a gift or a curse, and he seemed to think curse. I suppose it's limiting and makes it somewhat difficult to find food that you enjoy. That would make it hard to be a foodie like me. But at least they know what they like and avoid what they don't like. If only Supertasters knew this information as children, it probably would have saved plenty of arguments with their parents.

Wouldn't it be cool if there were Supertasters whose tongue somehow enhanced umami, salty, or sweet rather than highlight the bitter?

Are you a Supertaster? (410)

Doctors Visits For The Low-Income, Less Educated, & Elderly Is Filled With Discontent

I grew up in a family that is amazingly full of healthcare professionals. If you walked through a family party you could bounce off a doctor or nurse or therapist like a pinball at any given pass. And as far as I know, they've all led great careers in helping, saving, and providing care to numerous patients. It's easy to tell how much they care about their jobs and the lives they affect because of the way they speak about their experiences, the love that their co-workers have for them, and appreciation their patients and their families exude towards these professionals. They are generally happy to be care givers and it shows.

I say all this as a background for what I'm about to rant about. I'm prefacing my disposition with this information because I don't want you to get the wrong idea about me. I am not intent on generalizing the entire industry, but highlighting unfortunate circumstances created by a select few.

I believe there are some underperforming doctors and doctor's offices who, sadly, seemingly don't care about providing good healthcare for all of their patients. In my opinion, they are in it for the money from the insurance companies. That's a bold statement. How could I say such a thing?

Have you ever been for a doctor's visit and spent more time in the waiting room than in front of the doctor? Have you ever made a list of questions for yourself to ask the doctor but felt so rushed that you forgot to ask something? Did you ever feel as if a doctor or nurse wasn't hearing your ailments but instead, jumping to a conclusion before you could spit out all the issues? I could not count on my hands the number of times I've lived through these experiences. I specifically feel as if the target are the elderly or the less educated.

Case and point, I help my mother-in-law (MIL) manage her medical visits. I do everything from setup the appointments to driving her to the offices to speaking with the doctors and nurses to having her medications filled at the pharmacy. I deal with a number of people along the way. I speak to the medical secretary, the nurse, the nurse practitioner, the doctor, the pharmacist, the techs, the lab, and anyone else I have to so that I can ensure that all the proper procedures are followed, visits are organized, and scripts are executed.

She's my MIL, so as you may have guessed, she's elderly. And in this case, she is also not as well educated as her children nor is she as fluent an English speaker as she could be. Every single time I take her for a visit, this is what I experience.

• We are forced to wait in the waiting room for hours. In some cases, we may make the very first appointment for the day, and end up waiting for the doctors to even show up to the office. 
• Once we get into the exam room, the nurses have no idea what the visit is for. They have not read the chart or the reason for the appointment. They revisit the list of medications and ailments, and on a number of occasions this information is not even correct and needs to be updated. 
• When the doctor comes into the room, it's as if he didn't read the chart nor did a nurse give him an update prior to him entering. We start over. 
• Then before we can complete our sentences about what the visit is for, he/she has already come up with a conclusion as to how we need to proceed. They advise X and Y with a side of Z. Take 2 of these, pick up your fries at the counter, and come back in 2 weeks. 

Without fail, this is the order of operations for a given appointment for my MIL. And believe me, I've complained about the process. I've corrected every error. I even need to slow the doctor or nurse practitioner down in their tracks. I ask questions and I clarify things that my mother-in-law does not have the capability to do either because she didn't understand the medical jargon, they spoke too fast, or because she just couldn't think to ask or clarify in the brief moments before the doctor said "see you next time." And if it wasn't for me slowing them down, I could see the advantage for doctors would take of my MIL. How so? 

The easiest way for doctors to make money is from insurance companies. In order to bill the insurance companies, a patient has to physically visit them. Simple as that. For any of the low income or elderly patients, I have to imagine that the doctors are in-the-money. In other words, they can't lose. 

If I wasn't around, they'd be getting multiple visits from my MIL. Each visit would go just as the previous (quick and unresolving), and each time the doctor would make a collection from the insurance company. And the more patients the doctors can treat in this fashion, the more money they can collect. So doctors are incentivized to move quickly. 

Let's just say for example, an average doctor's visit should be 15 minutes (actually face to face). For every hour they work, they would see 4 patients and in the course of an 8 hour day, 32 patients. BUT if they cut the time spent with each of their patients to 10 minutes, they can effectively see 40 patients a day. That's 8 more people than they should, but what dollar amount does that translate to? If you know anything about how much healthcare costs, you know that they made a pretty good chunk of change for saving a measly 5 minutes per patient. 

But what did the patient get out of it? Obviously they didn't receive the full potential of care. They were shorted 5 minutes. That 5 minutes could have been 2 or 3 questions that could change the course of their visits. Those patients were short-changed the amount of good information they could have been educated with. They were rushed or felt rushed and could not properly understand everything being discussed. They forgot the important things that needed to be heeded. They weren't given the time to clarify. And most importantly, they couldn't even reason with themselves to determine if the doctor was accurate in his estimations and findings. 

How many people take their elderly parents or low-income relatives or less educated friends / family to the doctor to ensure they're getting the proper treatment? I would bet not many. Because we are not their keepers. Because we think they can do it on their own. Because our parents think they are still capable of managing on their own. But there is a point in time where they start to miss things. Where they lose track of the important aspects of their visits. Where time is no longer on their side. They need help. 

And I believe doctors and doctors offices take advantage of this. If there was no insurance companies, I think doctors and other healthcare practitioners would provide better care and take more time for their patients well-being. Even if they charged a high hourly rate direct to the consumer, at least the onus would be on the patient to properly ascertain medical care with experts willing and able to do the right thing. 

If I could analogize it to the work of an accountant or lawyers, I'd give this example. Accountants and lawyers charge their clients on an hourly basis. They scope out the work to determine how long it would take and give their clients an idea of how much time is necessary. Clients then decide whether or not to engage the service provider. But when they do, clients know that these professionals are going to give them their best work and make sure that all realms of the scoped (and sometimes the out-of-scope) jobs are executed with the best interest of the clients in mind. 

If doctors took this route, I feel as if both the doctors and patients would mutually benefit. Doctors would be paid their just due, and patients would receive the best care possible.

So what am I asking for? Doctors - Take your time. Have some patience with your patients. Listen to what they have to say and answer their questions. Make sure they understand everything you explain to them. Give them the best care, the care that they deserve. (1428)

There Is Etiquette In Travel Photography

What a great article by Wendy Simmons posted to Travel & Leisure about the nature of photographing people around the world. It is no easy action to take pictures of and with local peoples in any given village / town / city. But she found a way to make a memory for both sides. Wendy broke the stigma associated with taking peoples' photos by turning the situation from a transaction into an experience. And that's what it really should be.

It's not about capturing images. It's about creating a relationship. It's about learning from one another. It's forming a bond of trust. The photo should just serve as a reminder to you and your new friend of the friendship that's been created.

And that's why I'm so happy to learn about the length she went to deliver a single photo to a family who's never had their picture taken together before. It's a vivid reminder of what true friendship can do. I may have to borrow that idea Wendy!

What most of you don't know is that there is a real negative thought linked with photographing people, particularly faces of people, in many parts of the world. The idea that fuels the angst and sometimes even anger is theft. Some believe that you, the photographer, will steal their image for your direct benefit, that you will sell their photos to make a profit. The people of this mindset do not want to be exploited by foreigners. They do not want to be taken a fool and not be properly compensated for it. And for those reasons, people avoid posing for a quick snap. Some demand money for the chance of a photo with them. And others just plain don't allow it.

These fears and the anger are not unwarranted. Many a people have been used for their images never to be compensated, never being asked permission, and seldom having ever developed any kind of relationship. It's a sad truth in the generation where photography is almost like race or a game to capture the most remarkable, seemingly unreal but true images around the world.

Bottom line is that photos taken of people should be by permission. It is most preferable that an interaction precedes the capture. And it would be the best to develop some kind of relationship and understanding between all parties. There's plenty to learn from people around the world. You never know what kind of insights you'll get. And I'm certain that some of them will amaze you.

We made some great relationships along the way on our tour of the world.  Just have a look at these faces.