Positive Change

The Art of Happiness by Dalai Lama XIV

Reading this passage, I immediately connected to my own experience. I've never described the process I went through mentally when I decided to earn my CPA, study for it, and pass the exam. But this really sums it up so well, and the proof that the process works is my certification. 

Learning and Education - from the numerous mistakes I've made to the various people I've witnessed and the number of insights I've gained, I learned the hard way. To further success in the field of Accounting, having a CPA, understanding the details of GAAP / Tax / Audit / Business, and using that education could only help me.

Conviction - I formally and firmly declared to myself that change was necessary. And that change was that I needed to be certified in my chose profession.

Determination - for successful people, failure drives determination. Decide to avoid failure, and success is within reach. Every day I was set on passing the exam. Everyday I wanted to improve. 

Action - I looked at ways to improve memory. I tested different diets to help give me energy. I started to drink coffee. I began to chew gum in an effort to correlate muscle memory with studying. I changed the time of day I would study. I changed the order of topics I would study. I modified my mindset. Every action improved my results. 

Effort - without effort, I'd be a failure in my objective. Without effort, I would have made no change. Without effort, I'd have been stuck. Without effort the results may have been depression. But my efforts created suffering in the short term, happiness in the long term. Like a basketball player who goes to practice, the efforts get reflected in the results. 

This 5 step process worked for me. I'm sure it will work for you too.

Before the Flood

What if there were other planets that were once like ours? Abundant, full of life, and intelligence. What if they lived the same life path as we have for thousands of years? What if they too destroyed their own being through poor politics, greed, and ill paid attention to climate change and global warming? Maybe they wouldn’t be the deserted, barren, lifeless planets they are currently with only traces of a life once lived before the gases choked the atmosphere and caused a chain of events that might have been stopped if it weren’t for politics. Maybe Earth’s future is in the stars…

These thoughts came after I watched a documentary produced by Leonardo DiCaprio called “Before The Flood” on Netflix. It was another documentary on Climate Change and the harmful effects. I think this was just as good as "The Inconvenient Truth" and it’s sequel.

Here, check out the trailer:

Down, Read, Laugh, Up, Repeat

Just a random thought that cross my mind today.

I was so free and unrestricted while traveling the world for those 6 months. Now, I am imprisoned in my home without a job, studying for an exam that doesn’t guarantee anything with a passing grade, cost cutting to make myself feel better, and continuing to be depressed about my situation. I was given the opportunity of a lifetime, temporary happiness, everlasting memories and in return, karma has reared its ugly head in the form of depression.



Good thing I read this after that thought...

“You can work hard. You can be talented. You can know all the right people. You can follow all the right lessons. You can be smart, rich, beautiful, everything - and still, life can deal you a bad hand.

So what are you to do in the face of a reality that can be indifferent, cold, even cruel? All you can do is play the odds. If you choose to give up, you can be fairly certain that life will pass you by. But if you choose to try your best, you can at least tip the balance significantly in your favor.”

I Can’t Make This Up by Kevin Hart

Thanks @KevinHart4Real

Decision Making Is Difficult - Weigh It All Out, Then GO With Your Heart

Last Tuesday, I turned down a job offer. It wasn't easy. I struggled with making the decision for about one week. Every day, I went back and forth on the possibilities, weighing out the pros and cons of accepting or declining.

My decision table looked something like this.

Pros

• A job that pays well
• Standard benefits, including medical / dental / vision / 401(k) / ESPP
• Pays for relocation costs to the West Coast
• Opportunity in a new industry: Travel / Technology
• Potential to learn new things, specifically a side of tax that I've not had the opportunity to learn in my previous positions

Cons

• Relocation required to the West Coast causing me to be separate from my wife and family
• 3 hour time difference
• Being unable to assist with the sale of our house and the purchase of a new house in Philadelphia
• Uncertain timeline of how long I would be employed before wanting to move home. Do I stay for 1 year? 
• Uncertainty in if they would allow me to work remotely after some point in time. They said it was possible, but no guarantee. As a tech company, it baffled me that their employees weren't already working remotely for some period of time. 
• The need to come home once a month to see my wife for a very short period of time (weekend)
• Inability to assist with my immediate family's various issues of concern (financial, health, etc.)
• HR's unwillingness to negotiate the offer in it's entirety. They were not willing to accommodate even the simplest of requests.
• Salary was, in my opinion, not commensurate to the work load, nor close in comparison to other similar companies in the area. It was also on the low side for the region's range of salary for the given position. Then HR had the audacity to tell me that the comparable companies do not pay a bonus (impossible), and this company's base plus bonus would get me into the range of the comparable companies. True, but that means without the bonus the base pay would be below the market rate. 
• Insufficient number of vacation days offered. It would have been a downgrade from what I previously had at my last employer. When I tried to negotiate this, they were unwilling to move. For most companies that hire, if you can't move on salary, you can move on vacation days because it costs you nothing (no additional money to dole out) to give another week of holiday time. 
• Sign-on bonus was to be paid in 2 installments that made no sense to me. The first was 30 days after the first day of employment. But the 2nd installment was to be held until the first paycheck after your first completed year! I asked that it be moved to 6 months after employment so that it was more of a sign-on bonus and less of a vesting. They were not amenable to this idea. 

Despite this company's unwillingness to negotiate, I still considered accepting the offer. But when I got on the phone with HR and started to listen to how this person spoke, my heart took over the decision making process. Something inside was telling me that I'd be unhappy. My mind was telling me that although a decent opportunity, the fact that this employer was unwilling to incentivize me to take the role and firm in their unwillingness to negotiate meant that I was not as valuable to them as I thought I was or as I should be. I bring a lot of value to the table and if that's not recognized then it's not worth it to me to change my life as drastically as this opportunity required. 

In the end, I was upset that this employer, in an industry that moves me and piques my interest so much, wasn't more flexible. But I know I would have been far more upset if I took the job and had to deal with all the negatives that I hashed out. 

I'm happy that I valued myself the way I did. I'm proud to stand my ground and thankful to my support system here at home for helping me see different perspectives. I know that I will find work, and I know that I will work hard for the people who believe in me and the employer that I believe in equally. When it's worth it, we'll both know. And eventually, I'll get there.

Trekking to Base Camp

Get Your Umbrellas Out Because I'm About to Brainstorm (Again)

While I'm on the topic of investments, I recently had a recollection of all the random ideas I've had in the past that never made it anywhere. For a while, I "invested" my time in developing some concepts that I hoped would make it big someday. The names needed to be short and catchy; the domain name had to be available and memorable. The product or service had to be something people would be interested in, and at the time I thought that was enough. Little did I know that the product / service also needed to be needed and solve a problem. (I know these things now because I watch Shark Tank religiously.)

Then I registered the domains, created the administrative email accounts, setup a Google Suite account, and if the idea was good enough - I recruited a small team to help, created a website, FB page, Instagram, and Twitter account. Of all the ideas that ever completely made it down that path, there were only two - my own blog and DrunkEats. But the vast majority of other thoughtful possibilities only got domain names. And even with that, the names and ideas were a stretch away from anything remotely possible.

But there is one idea that I constantly keep at the forefront of my imagination hoping I could further develop it and one day be smart enough to have others back it. I mean, I think it's good but its not unique enough. (Although the slogan we came up with is fantastic. Haha.) Anyway, a discussion about the service-oriented business idea resurfaced recently in a conversation with a friend who is currently going through his own newly created (but certainly thought about at length) brand development.

As I described to him the concept behind the name and could-be business idea, he chimed in with enthusiasm, even adding fuel to the gently stoked campfire burning in my mind by contributing some ideas and thoughts about it. We talked about blogging, branding, marketing, and direction. And at the end of the phone call, I told myself that I'd have to jumpstart the idea again with the team I previously enlisted many years ago when it all started. Of course, I'd want to involve my friend somehow because the more, the merrier but also the better the ideas become with more people to help it along. (396)

The Night Is Darkest Just Before The Dawn

There is a dark side to job hunting and unemployment that people do not write or talk about. Because on the outside, you want your family and friends to think you are ok, that you're having FUNemployment. No one wants to hear you complain or stress, so you do your best to keep it to yourself. But that only creates more stress, fear, doubt. The dark side of the whole process is the mind-fuck that you that put yourself through.

The moon as seen from the Atacama Desert
through a telescope in the middle of the night.

There is an anger that develops for any rejection you may receive. Doubt of your own talent and skills slowly creep up on your mind's eye. The focus then becomes, what have you done wrong? How you could have done better? Who affected this situation? Why did you do what you've already done?

Fear grows inside that you will not find what you're looking for. Fear grows as time continues to pass. Anxiety rises as time passes too. The longer you're out of work, the less appealing of a candidate you are. That feeling of becoming inferior to your previous peers and colleagues starts to show. Hate for the recruiters who have been anything but helpful develops. Discontent with the job postings you find mounts.

It's all in your mind. The constant thinking makes your mind spin. And you literally circle these thoughts daily. Of course, they are accompanied by all the negative feelings across the spectrum. And worse of all, no one understands the circumstances you are in. No matter what anyone says about knowing the feeling or having been there, the reality is that they have no idea. Because your situation is complex and deeply rooted in the series of decisions, events, and shortcomings that you've gone through. No one can possibly know what you are dealing with.

Some days I want to scream. I want to throw my laptop across the room. Sometimes I cry to myself because, even though I'm alone in my home, I forbid myself to show signs of distress on the outside. Because that is a sign of weakness. And no matter what my thoughts are on the inside, I'm too stubborn to let anything show on the outside.

But you have to find a way to cope with it. I have to find way to exert energy. Go to the gym. Play basketball. Take the dog out. Run errands. Walk to the park. Walk the neighborhood. Sometimes do things twice a day if it's really bad. I read. I write/blog. Whatever I do, I try to take up as much time as possible (since job searching electronically only takes up so much time.) But the most important thing I have to do is talk to my wife. Because I need to confide in her. I want her support. And she needs to know what is happening in my life. She's the glimmer of light that I need while I navigate through the darkness of the daily mental drain.

Thoughts on the Road

• Do you love where you live? 
• Does where you live prevent you from doing things you otherwise would do? 
• Are you happy with your chosen profession? 
• Will it take you to retirement? 
• Does you age hinder your desire to do more? 
• Is the timing ever right? 
• Is it ever too late to "figure it out?" 
• How many children should we have?
• Where should they be born?
• Will it be difficult to raise children outside of the United States?
• Is it smart?
• Is it better?
• Will their experience be better than ours?
• Are we brave enough to find out?

As we wind through the twists and turns of Tasmania's roadways we ask ourselves these questions. The numerous hours spent driving over the many kilometers to each of our next destinations have given us the time to ponder life questions. Have we come out with any answers, you ask? For some things yes, but for many of the others, we have yet to find out...

Moonlit Nights, Sand Blown Days, Lessons Learned, and Ideas to Ponder

Two nights ago we joined a star gazing tour. The driver took us out to the middle of the desert. He followed a half-paved / half-gravel and dirt road away from the town of San Pedro de Atacama. At some point, he literally turned off of the road and shut off his lights. He was driving by moonlight! It was awesome. There was no ambient light from any unnatural light source. And the moon was only slightly more than half bright.

According to our astronomer guide, this moon was at about 56% brightness

Our experience that night was a perfect segue to yesterday's adventure through the Valle de la Luna, or Moon Valley. We were able to see the large quantities of salt present in the desert. The mystery of various formations from long ago continue to puzzle us all until today; we saw the remnants of one particular formation, Las Tres Marias. And something that Carolyn and I have an affinity for doing is capturing sunsets. Everywhere in the world we've been, a sunset seems to have captured our attention.

Las Tres Marias

Las Tres Marias is an ancient formation that lines up with the asterism in the Constellation Orion, specifically Orion's Belt. It is said that on the winter solstice (in the Southern Hemisphere - June 21), these 3 formations fall directly in line with Orion's Belt. In recent history, a tourist tried to climb the leftmost Maria and toppled it. He was banned from the country for 3 years and paid a nominal monetary penalty. That's just ridiculous. He should have been banned from the country forever and forbidden to visit any sights of historical significance. Now there is a perimeter established around this sight and others in the reserve to prevent further similar damage.

Wind blown and sand-carved formations

Walking around Valle de la Luna gave us plenty of time to think and observe. Trekking up and down the sand dunes, through the various caverns, traversing salt and rock formations gave us so much perspective.

Do we have the fortitude to withstand the test of time like the elements in the desert? Are our dreams as colorful as the sunset? Will we travel the earth like the wind-blow sand? Or will our passions dry-out in the desert heat?

Trains of Thought

Thought patterns are one of the most interesting things that we take for granted. Not until recently have I been so intrigued. Have you ever wondered how the creators of Family Guy come up with their material? I think I've figured it out. They get a bunch of corporate Americans who's daily relief from the jobs they hate is a 1 hour time frame all to themselves in the middle of the day, put them in a conference room, and call it lunch. Albeit a rather boring sounding beginning to a lunch break, but it proves fruitful.

Now these just aren't your ordinary corporate Americans. These are the creative cream of the crop. I'm talking about the well-read IT Guy, the faux know-it-all, the quiet lady, the doubter, the intern, and the occasional cynic. And their differences are not just their demeanor, but also their cultural background. Put all that in a mix, and well...you've got yourself a grade A creative comedy team.

With such variety of people, culture, background, and personality, it's no wonder a slew of topics emerge in conversation. Intellectual to nonsensical, morose to jubilant, factual or fictional, and the list goes on.

Now the amazing part is that they all seem to tie together. Discussions of the theory of black holes leads to the music of Soundgarden (Black Hole Sun... won't you come...) to wash away the rain... drops keep falling on my window(s)... of the World was a great restaurant in the World Trade Center...is the position that I play in basketball...is a better sport than baseball... I can't believe the Philles won the World Series... of poker is a game that relies on a good composure... or composer of cards is like a composer of music, you have to find the harmony... and I bumeped into my friend Melodee a few weeks ago in the street as I was walk(ing)...the Line was an ok movie... don't you think?

I guess that's why they call it "trains" of thought. You are constantly LINKING things together and always on the GO to CONVEY your thought, hopes, dreams, and ideas. Family Guy just makes it more evident... and funny.